Women at work

I have had a longstanding interest in the gender dynamics of offices and organisations. One of the things that intrigues me most is the politics of women-women relationships, and today I was reminded that often these are the most complex, gendered relationships of them all.

I have worked with some incredible women and some pretty so-so ones. I have a woman to thank for getting me out of my first dead-end job. I also have a woman to thank for an early resignation and a year of utter misery. I have no doubt whatsoever that gender had a part to play in both these experiences. And today, I faced a woman who could either be my ally or my enemy. It was a bit like watching the prisoner's dilemma unfold as we both tried to work out whether we were going to play the 'yes, we're both quite young women operating at a relatively senior level in a pretty male organisation so let's work together' card, or whether we were going to go for all-out cat-fight there's-only-space-for-one-of-us war.

I find these kinds of experiences profoundly depressing. Why can't women look out for one another in a straightforward way? We still face an uphill struggle in cultural and indeed in simple pay terms at work so why waste all that energy on competing with one another?

It reminds me of an inspiring conversation I had a few weeks back with a woman who had been very active in the radical feminist movement in the 1970s. We were talking about feminism today and my wish that I'd been part of the early movement where the sense of women working together was so strong (although she put me right on this particular misconception) - anyway we agreed that the only way to truly define feminism today is by finding those women who actively seek out, support and encourage other women in weaker positions than them.

This really resonates with me. I think of my experiences and the extent to which my own successes in my career are owed to senior women looking out for me. And I think of mothers encouraging their daughters to believe that the world is theirs for the taking (an experience me and most of my friends were lucky enough to have). Feminism isn't about being at the top of your career, or being a ball crusher, or actively choosing to be an ever-present mother. No, it's about looking out for other women and supporting them. The woman that climbs the ladder and draws it up behind her is a woman I'd least like to deal with in work.